Balancing Motherhood and Passion (or anything else!)
We all know what that is. It wears many different faces, but it’s all the same beast.
It comes to working moms when they return to work. It comes to stay at home moms when they dream of what they would do if they had their freedom back. It comes to moms of all walks when we look at the other moms who have a different strength set than us. They might appear to be doing more, doing it better etc. But we’re all in the same boat.
I may sound confident in my choices in straddling the line between motherhood and dance. I tell people with self assurance how I’ve never had to get a babysitter to support my dance dreams, that I’ve always been able to schedule my dance around naps, school, bedtime, and when my husband is home to make it happen. To illustrate, my current dance schedule runs 11am-245pm. 11 because my 2 year old goes down for his nap at 12, and my husband takes his lunch break at 11 and can spend that hour with him, and 245 because that gives me five minutes to change and dry off the sweat before hopping in the car to get my older 3 from school. Sounds awesome, right? She does it all, right????
I deal with mommy guilt Every. Single. Day. Let me mention a few of the things I DON’T do that I see so many other moms doing. Number one on the current list of mommy guilts is I don’t volunteer at my kids school. Apparently that is just something standard that even working moms do. I hear my mom friends talking about volunteering at such and such and how so and so teacher is about this and that program. I feel like they are speaking German. Or maybe Vietnamese because they are talking really fast.
I don’t like to cook. I don’t talk the dinner making domestic talk. My husband is the early bird that gets the kids off to school. On and on and on with the things that my mind inflates into “Everyone BUT me does this” Mommy fails.
But what I am starting to think, is that all of us who are trying to balance motherhood with ANYTHING else, even just time alone or heck, a date night, do it by making DECISIONS. Not a single one of us can do it all, and so in order to balance or even have a semblance of balancing, we do some things, and we just simply DON’T DO others. I have one on one conversations with every single one of my five kids every single day. 2-4 nights a week I lay by my boys and tell them bedtime stories. I joke around and make every one of my kids smile every day. I know their personalities, their ups and downs, their friends, their fears, their dreams. I don’t think the way I do things is any better or more important than anyone else, but I do think that we all have to make those decisions. Some moms may sit down and do crafts with their kids, some spend more time in the morning with them than the evening. Some have their kids do more cleaning around the house, some cook more and teach their kids to cook, some fix their kids’ hair every day, etc etc etc.
But really, the biggest thing about balance is picking what is important to us, picking what we know we can do, and picking what we are WILLING to let go of, because if we try to do it all, we won’t make it. I can’t speak with certainty for those who don’t have any other passions pulling them in different directions, but motherhood is dang hard, so I have a hard time believing that it isn’t still a balancing act no matter how you look at it.
So, if you are a mom that has some mommy guilt over something that another mom is doing better, step back, see what it is that you ARE doing instead with what little time you have, and realize that is HOW you balance, it isn’t what makes them more balanced than you.
(the picture for this came from the following article http://www.yourmagneticstory.com/feel-like-a-tightrope-walker/ **DISCLAIMER – I have only read part of it and it seemed to be right in line with this post, but I have NOT screened it for language etc.)